Rich People Problems:  Fake Quotes, Real Bummers

Rich People Problems: Fake Quotes, Real Bummers

Rich people problems are just like yours, except for when they’re not (which is all the time).


They have messy break ups.

Divorce isn’t so bad, except for when it costs you $3.5 billion.

This is something the one and only Rupert Murdoch could say. In 2013, Murdoch split from his wife Wendi Deng. The estimated $1.8 billion divorce cost slightly more than his $1.7 billion divorce from Anna Maria Torv in 1998.


Restaurants screw up their orders.

My dog only eats grass fed filet mignon. This is obviously sirloin.

Paris Hilton could probably say this gem. She received criticism for making her dogs a $325,000 doghouse a few years back, and it isn’t uncommon to see her spoiling her pooches with food and bling.


They get pulled over by the cops.

It wasn’t my fault I was speeding. It’s Lamborghini’s fault for making cars go so fast.

Australian mining magnate Clive Palmer inspired this one, though a ton of rich celebrities have had their share of speeding tickets. Palmer refused to pay a $333 speeding fine in 2012. In all fairness, he’s not a billionaire. His net worth is only about $550 million.


Their friends post unflattering photos of them online.

Tell Forbes to take that photo down. I want the one showing my right side.

Honestly, this had no real-life basis. Surely even the world’s wealthiest obsess over their photos like a teenager on Instagram, right? Too bad rich lists don’t use filters.


They can’t get things they buy shipped to them.

I ordered my painting ages ago. It still isn’t here.

British billionaire James Stunt inspired this one. He recently bought Anthony van Dyck’s last self-portrait for £12.5 million. The British government placed a temporary export ban on the painting. Sadly, there’s no Amazon Prime for 17th century paintings. James Stunt’s net worth is estimated at $5 – $7 billion, so there’s that!


Can you relate to these #richpeopleproblems? Don’t worry. Most of us can’t. Just keep on keeping on. As American media mogul Ted Turner says: “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.”

More money, more problems. What expensive problems do only the elite billionaires have to struggle with?

Update: James Stunt withdrew his bid for the painting.

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